Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Following A Dream

So many people have things to say about dreams. "Follow your dreams" "I have a dream . . ." "Give up your dreams" "Dreams are a gift from God". With all these messages, it's hard to know what to think. Pursuing dreams can mean sacrificing some day to day joys, but yet if the dream came to fruition then it would all be worth it. If I wait for my dreams to come to me, they may never come. If I give up my dreams I feel like I'll be an empty person, without goals or purpose.

I've been told to give up my dreams. They aren't rational and definitely not attainable with a family. I'm not that good. I can't really live the life with the path I have chosen. I've been told be satisfied with where I am at. Find satisfaction in the day to day, and stop being such a dreamer. But doesn't that sound all too negative?

Sometimes I feel it is wrong to pursue my dreams. You know, when you feel like they are supposed to happen then God will plop them in your lap. Like the more you try the farther the dreams travel away, so it seem so much happier to just keep the dreams on a shelf and think of how pretty they look. As if the realization of failure and the inability to obtain the dreams is much harder to bear, so then not pursuing them seems like a much better option.

However, actually actively pursuing my dreams seems impossible. At my point of life I've made choices that seem to be complete roadblocks to what I dream. Then the path seem so arduous, that I get caught up and the complexity and grandiose nature of my dream. I fear each step that I could make towards it, even though I could take each step one at a time. I would so rather fall into a whirlwind of the dream, than to take each step purposefully at a time. It seems so daunting. But if God truly gives us our dreams for a reason, then I should stop trying to trust in myself and rather trust in Him. If He reveals to us our dreams, then He can make them happen. So strange how people say that God wants to give us dreams bigger than ones we have. They haven't seen my dreams. Against all odds I dream bigger than most, and still keep a seed of hope in my heart that they will happen. I will keep the seed, I will take my steps, and I will trust my Father. Hey, who knows?

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